I suppose this would apply mostly to guys. There is this theory that men who drive loud, flashy vehicles are compensating for the fact that their gentlemen sausage is rather more like a little smokie. I am unaware of any scientific study to support this, but it's either this or they're simply stupid. Recently, my normally quiet residential street was made into a detour route for a busy road that's under construction. Cars, trucks, and motorcycles of all flavors now grace my neighborhood with their noises.
First, there are the Harleys. I like Harleys, always have. If I could afford to have a midlife crisis, you can bet your sweet bippy I'd get me one. I would not, however, blast down quiet streets so that the only slightly muffled exhaust pipes cackle and roar as if heralding the end of the world. Now, I know a little about motorcycles and I'm certain this noise is not necessary in order to make it, you know, go. These guys who choose to drive their hog in this manner might as well be screaming, "Look at me! Look at me! I have low self-esteem and need your attention and respect to make me feel better about my tiny willy." Although I would keep this comment to myself if the rider is sporting a leather jacket with the words "Hell's Angels" on the back.
Second, there are the stereos. You know the ones. Dude has a $2000 car and pumps $10,000 into the sound system. It's not merely stupid, it's insane. This is like buying a $100,000 house and then dumping half a million bucks into a home theater system. Honestly, if you heard that your neighbor did that, you'd keep your kids from stopping there on Halloween and also finally plant that privacy hedge. Anyway, you hear these cars coming three blocks away, or rather you feel them coming. It's the window-rattling thumping that is the tell-tale sign. Again, with the "Hey, look at me!" and micro man-package. You may be thinking that these guys just like a lot of bass in their music and can be forgiven. They cannot and here's why: the frequency of the sound waves that create that deep, bass beat is very long...like 20 feet long. In other words, while in their own car, they can't even hear the bass. They're too close to the speakers. Instead, they are giving the gift of music to the rest of us. Isn't that sweet of them? (They should all be trapped in elevators and played nothing but muzak versions of Celine Dion songs.)
So if you fall into either of the two above groups, buy a ruler or take an IQ test to figure out what your problem is. It's time to face your shortcomings.
:)
ReplyDelete